I Don't Want to Wait for our Lives to be Over.

8am.

Saturday.

 Fully Caffeinated.

Jack Jack packed&fueled.

  Exhaustion.Late Night.3 Hours.

“go to” outfit=cotton dress.

catch quick glimpse of it.

Permanent.Purple.

Attitude Adjusts.

“I’m Third”.

Sunrise

Yesterday was one of the best days of the year. Easter Sunday. It is such a special day. Sunrise Easter Service. 7:00am. The air is crisp and fresh, the sense of new beginnings and forgiveness are abundant.

I was back in Franklin, Tn at home for Easter Break (which the university likes to call “Spring Recess”, which I will spare anyone who ever reads this of my opinion on that matter) and I went to Fellowship Bible Church, where my family has attended for several years now. The sermon was amazing. I was surprised by the unconventional Easter morning message. Righteousness. How do we become more like Christ? More Righteous? One point of his message that stood out to me was how people who don’t know they need God are the people who need him the most. The people who think they are fine, are the people who are trying to do it on their own…In my mind all I could think about was “Self Righteous” people. People who believe they are living the “perfect” Christian walk. People who make others feel as if they will never be good enough, and there struggles are too much for anyone to forgive. Then I was reminded oh why yes there in fact is someone who will forgive my imperfections, my struggles, and my failures. Jesus Christ. These people are right. I will never be good enough and deserving of God’s Mercy. But that’s why it is called Mercy. The struggle, the up’s and the down’s. The fight back to Him.

After the past year watching people become disengaged, removed because of their own disapproval, and blinded by their own judgmental fog, I was reminded this past Sunday that I am by NO means perfect, but the fact that I am willing to admit this and ask for God’s help I am growing in Him. I will grow closer to Him through these challenges, and I need to let go of other people’s opinions on my life. I have let other people’s judgments of my life matter, tiptoeing around them so they will not see my faults.  Afraid to grow up and experience things in life because I was afraid how they would respond.  Now, this may seem slightly judgmental on my part towards judgmental people. That IS NOT my intent.

Security in Christ.  He forgives my sins, and restores my soul.

This past year I have grown up, changed, and become closer to Christ than ever before. I have learned and lost. Some people don’t need to be in your life, and that’s okay. The people who matter will accept your faults, keep you accountable and help you find your way back to the unbeaten path on this journey towards God and His Righteous.

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. ~W. Somerset.

Older- Colbie Caillat

Change.

Inevitable, thrilling, okay let me be honest…it’s scary.

In one month and 5 days my family will change forever.

My life has been full of change. Three Elementary Schools, Two Middle Schools and Two High schools later I have made it to college. I plan on having ONE College. College is a four-year adventure, and I plan on spending this adventure in one place. My dad’s job growing up sent us all over the south and even up to Michigan.  I have a LOVE/ HATE relationship with moving.  It’s nice to have a chance to experience new things and meet new people; butttt leaving the people you love can be the hardest thing. (However, I do believe being left by a friend would probably be worse).

Back to the change that is one month and 5 days away. My sister is getting married! It will be one of the most exciting days for our family. I think her fiancé is great and I am grateful she found such a great guy. But I am selfish, and at times I feel as if nothing will be the same ever again. Taylor, my mom and I have a special relationship. When the 3 of us are together there is MAGIC. I am completely serious. We enter a room, and magic fills the air. We are the 3 Musketeers. 

Mischief. Typical. Sorry.

Jimmy's classic dance move.

Led by our fearless leader Jim “Jimmy” Payne.  He is the ringleader of all family dinners, that get out of hand and hilarious right away. The dry humor of my dad will be a quality I appreciate for years to come. He is also the reason why I am weirdly obsessed with the tv show Seinfeld. I have no idea where I would be without these 3 people in my life. I stress Jimmy out on a daily basis. He loves me anyways. He loves his 3 Musketeers with a patience I’ve never seen in another man.  Since I was a little girl I have prayed that Taylor and I would find someone like my dad, and someone who will make us as happy as my parents are today.  

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Change. It’s on its way in my family. All anxiety aside, I know this new chapter of life will be magical. And that is one thing about our family that will never change.

And so it all begins...

Late Night Drama Queen. One of my favorite songs by Drew Holcomb. I was introduced to him a few months ago by someone who was in and out of my little world before I could blink my eyes. But this song brings back memories that I will cherish for years to come. I am indeed a little Late Night Drama Queen. Therefore, I have finally decided that I would start a blog...

.friends&sisters.forever.

College is going by so quickly and the days seem to end before they begin. I want to cherish little moments of everyday. Tonight was a rare night I had the chance to slow down with my friends and look back on all the adventures we have shared together. I turned 21 exactly a week ago, with this grand birthday I suddenly feel so old and grown up...yet at the same time, I feel like the wide-eyed Freshman ready to take on the world. I am blessed to have a group of friends who love me for me(all weirdness included). 


Life is always a little messy but my little life as a Late Night Drama Queen is full of best friends, love & perfect imperfection. 


SJP