The House that Built Me

Pumps. Portfolio. Power Suit.

During the past couple of weeks since I graduated from the University of Tennessee I have been flooded with corporate America. I knew this time would come, but now as it is in my near future (9 Days away to be exact) I have a decision to make. The clock is ticking and a choice needs to be made.

 Two jobs. Two cities. Two roads. Which one to take?

This feels like the biggest decision of my life. I heard the quote a while ago that said, “When you have to make a hard decision, flip a coin. Why? Because when that coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you’re hoping for”.

That is nice in theory but in this moment that doesn’t seem like enough. The battle between the head and the heart continues. The battle between what makes sense on paper and what my emotions want drags on. Pro/Con lists were made, sleepless nights weighing the offers, and restlessness all around. I still managed to feel a sense of how blessed I am to have choices. I am grateful for this hard decision. After days of uneasiness, I think I have finally found that perfect balance between my head and heart.

The reality is nothing will be the same again. I am back in Nashville where nothing is the same as when I left four years ago to embark on my college adventure in Knoxville. And nothing will be the same again in Knoxville now that college is over. Therefore the decision is made. 

-SJP

Wild Ones

I have been home for less than a week and I am restless. I have no idea what to do with myself. After I apply for jobs and career hunt I workout, layout, and the process of cleaning out my room has proved to be overwhelming. My bedroom is in a time warp. My high school years are present everywhere. Old pictures. Old cds. And old clothes. I decided the clothes have got to go because let’s face it, if I haven’t worn it since highschool I don’t need it. And if it’s not as memorable as the duck sweater, it is just taking up space that my current post grad life needs. I am my mothers’ daughter, which means I collect jeans like some people collect coins. Tooo many pairs. As I decided it was time to detox, I kept one of my favorite pairs to make into jorts. A few moments on Pintrest and I was inspired.

Snip, cut, sew. Success.

Final Product.

My new life post college so far is just a waiting game full of interviews and phone calls. But during this waiting game I am going to work my way through Pintrest.

Margarita Pie and jorts down. 

It was delicious.

Thousands of projects to go. Crafting, cooking, and checking out that fitness section (because I’d hate to outgrow these newly created jorts) until my next big break in the world of becoming a working woman. 

-SJP

Call Me, Maybe

The Little Life of a Late Night Drama Queen with a degree. 

And the whirlwind is over.

The past two months have been full of “lasts” and goodbyes.

It has all been so bittersweet because these last few weeks have been so amazing.It is hard and sad to see it all end.

Last Alpha Delta Pi Mixer:

Katy Perry & Sophia Grace before the Pop Culture Mixer.

Last Alpha Delta Pi Formal:

4 Years of Friendship. Love them all. This last formal was my favorite.

I took Britt to my last formal. We had a blast. Danced the night away.

Last Alpha Delta Pi Meeting:

All the seniors at our last meeting.

All of these “last” events led to the grand finale. Graduation Day. The Commencement Ceremony.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry walking across the stage.

 In my mind this was the end. It’s never getting better than the past four years. But if you looked up commencement in a dictionary you would find:

Noun: the act of instance of a beginning, start

Communication and Information ladies on Graduation morning.

Proud little family.

The past four years have been full of great memories and friendships but on May 10^th at 8:30 am the next stage in my life started. I am still uncertain what this stage will hold or look like, but it’s begun and I refuse to let my life just pass me by. I am going to miss college and the many friends I left behind( it still feels like I am just home for the weekend, so reality may hit me later) and even though I felt like my body had to be pulled out of Knoxville, I am ready to see where I end up. I am so grateful to have had an amazing college experience. When I think about myself as a freshman I see that young girl looking for an adventure, and I am so happy to know that I got exactly what I was looking for at the University of Tennessee. 

-SJP

Why Ya Wanna

Today seemed like any other Sunday. Church with one of my best friends. A little catnap. Work out. Library time. Pretty typical day to catch up on rest and get ready for the next week. The routine of my weeks is making time fly by and springtime is right around the corner. This winter seemed nonexistent and all I want to do is swap out my closet from sweaters to sundresses. There is something about a sundress that is comfortable and easy. And obviously super cute. Some of my favorites that I have spotted this season… while listening to my online class lecture that turns into some online shopping. Hah oops.  

The days in Knoxville of sun can only last for so long, and on Friday the storm came. The storm on Friday made me feel uneasy, anxious, and just unsure of everything. All day long there were tornado warnings and announcements about how we should make our way to the Laurel basement for shelter. Apparently even brooms were standing up by themselves.

Friday afternoon was most certainly the calm before the storm. But with little warning a storm can just sweep the sky and all is windy, blustery and unsettled. This is true in life too. Everything is great until at one moment it’s not. Thursday night everything seemed right. A fun night with friends and long chats about life and goals made me fall asleep with a smile on my little face. But without a moments notice the storm would come. Waking up Friday to news I was not expecting made my heart feel like it was in the middle of a storm. The disappointing news brought mixed emotions, but in the midst of the day, my favorite people surrounded me and everything seemed fine once again. Now that the storm has settled I am not sure what opportunity I will explore next, but all I know for sure is that in the next few weeks I will be prancing around in the sunshine wearing a sundress. And for right now that’s enough.

-SJP

One Short Night

This past Wednesday afternoon after a long day of classes I decided a trip home was just what I needed. I packed up the essentials, put some gas in Jack and off to Nashville I went. It was a sunny afternoon and I LOVE driving with my windows down and favorite artists blaring out of Jack’s speakers. This drive included: Grace Potter, Jake Owen, and Eric Church. Shuffle it all and add some Starbucks, and folks there ya have it, a perfect day. 

Or at least top three for me, but what can I say, I am pretty easily entertained.

It was all going quite well until a little police officer started tailing me, then riding next to me, then tailing me again. Then the moment of truth, flashing lights and parked on I-40 I waited for my ticket. Oh but no speeding ticket in sight. I just had expired tags. Oops. Busy girl. Didn’t notice. Back on the road to Franklin I went and I arrived just in time for dinner.

I had a fun weekend at home with Robyn&Jimmy. I was lucky enough to see Taylor&Klay when he came home from Vegas. It was a nice laidback weekend. Everyone once in a while I just need to be at home again. A reality check of what matters, who matters, and what never will.

Robyn loves to suggest articles to read from the Nashville paper, and this time I took her up on it and read an article about a man who has committed to climbing the stairs of 10 of the world’s tallest buildings. My first thought was simply okay this is a publicity stunt to promote his book about building character and while it is indeed helping him, I was surprised how the message is something a bit more powerful. He says how our life is not made of huge deal breaking moments that change the direction of our life, but instead it’s small everyday choices that get us the life we want. I kind of love this. The goal should be to everyday live and make small choices that are helping us reach the desired goal, rather than waiting for the one moment that will change everything. Just like climbing stairs, its slow, tiring, but if you just keep moving your feet you will reach your goal. Small steps to the top.

I love this because as I am nearing the end of college, every choice that is coming my way seems monumental. But this newspaper article shows how if you don’t wait for your life to happen, but take chances and risks, you will end up at the top. 

Probably be a little winded but with persistence, commitment and a dream maybe anything is possible.

-SJP

My Kind of Crazy

A year ago I was driving my best friends and I to Alpha Delta Pi’s District Leadership Conference. This weekend the day had arrived to venture East once again. But the purpose of this trip was one that my dreams led me on.

My Alpha Delta Pi Pin.

A once in a lifetime opportunity to travel the country for a year. Finally. February 4^th. I could not be more excited to meet the women who I had been speaking with on the phone since December. Two months has gone by since the very first phone call. The time has come to pack up Jack with my matching Vera Bradley, a playlist of my latest favorite music, and my GPS to get me to my destination: Asheville, NC. I had ZERO issues on the way there which for me seemed entirely too good to be true. The afternoon went great. I was able to get ready while chatting with some of my favorite chapter members who also calmed my nerves. The big event flew by and two hours later, the journey home would begin. Hah, if I would have known how it would become quite the adventure I may have stayed the night to slumber party with the girls at the hotel. 

Hey North Carolina.

The beautiful state of North Carolina had just experienced a rockslide. My friend gave me a heads up about this and I thought it would be just an added delay but not a huge ordeal. BUT what is a day in Shelby Payne’s life if there is not something wild and weirdo happening?! 45 minutes down the road to Knoxville, the interstate just stopped. It was blocked off. Pitch black. Pouring rain. And there I was with not a clue what to do. My GPS was no help because the little British accent was just telling me to find a safe place to turn around. So in my panicked state, my first reaction was to follow the car in front of me. I mean, surely they were experienced, well informed drivers and everything would be fine. I was simply hoping I would magically reappear on 40W. Well after about 10 minutes of following this person I was terrified. We were on roads that were not paved, up in the mountains, with no street signs in sight. Having seen one too many Law & Order SVU episodes, I could just imagine these people I was following were leading me deeper and deeper into seclusion to abduct me. They waved at me in the dark to pull up next to their car, I was so desperate to find my way out of the mountains that I slowly approached their car. I have never been happier to see the smiling faces of an older couple that knew I was in need of some guidance. They did their best to guide me back to where the interstate stopped. Almost in tears all I knew to do was phone a friend from the great state of NC for help navigating me to safety and to calm my nerves. Well hours later I was back in Asheville, found the detour and was on my way to Knoxville.

Detours are funny things in life. When you have to take a different path than planned, it is incredibly disappointing and scary. When you can’t get to where you want to be right away, or when you make a mistake that now the best option is plan b, through a completely different place than you wanted to go through it's confusing. But detours are just different ways to get where you want to go. You still end up where you wanted to be, but going straight there was not right or at least at that time. The time that passed while on the detour was preparing the end result exactly how it should be. While preparing the driver to see the end destination in a new way. Timing in life changes everything. Something so perfect at the wrong time isn’t perfect at all.

 Patience to trust the detour is patience to trust that things work out exactly how and when they should. Exactly how the Creator of the detour planned it to get you back where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you are supposed to arrive there.

-SJP

Tiny Light

I think everyone has a dream that is in no way possible for so many reasons. Impossible barriers that would keep you from being able to live out that dream. Well my barriers are simply I can not sing and my musical instrument skills are limited. But by no means has that stopped me from trying.

When I was just a young little blonde thing I loved to put on a show. Give me a bathing suit and cowboy boots and I was unstoppable. My love of music started early and I eventually took on the challenge of learning to play the violin. I am a decent violinist. I love playing. This love of music even led to a few electric bass moments. I dreamed of being a rockstar. An incredibly talented, wild woman who showed the world her skills and passion for music(while looking incredibly trendy and chic).

Karen O

My favorite band in high school was the YeahYeahYeahs. I always gravitated to bands with a strong woman volcalist. And Karen O was no exception. In 2003 the song Maps was released and even though its been almost a decade her voice is still in my head. Its been a longgg time since I have heard a woman share this intense rock, edgy sound. In my opinion no woman has been able to share these qualities in recent years, until now.

The other night a friend insisted on showing me video after video of his favorite music. I say insisted, but that doesn’t mean I was not completely eager to hear music that I had yet to stumble upon. One video stuck out amongst the others because she shared that intense wild voice and wild indie vibes of Karen O.

Grace Potter.

My latest obsession.

She is insanely talented and I am shocked I have not heard her before (except for her little duo with Kenny Chesney. But You&Tequila does not do her justice.But it’s niccce).

Grace Potter.

My Favs:

Tiny Light

Paris

That Phone

Things I Never Needed

Even though not all my childhood dreams are feasible or even what I want anymore, I am glad I can listen to amazing artists like Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

Listening and dancing all the way to my dreams! 

-SJP