Little Red Rodeo

Tomorrow is my last first day of classes. The past month I spent at home in Franklin, TN was just the break I needed with my family to come back for the grand finale. Full of typical Payne Family fun of course. Parades, festivals, board games, family dinners (including one with a coworker of Robyn’s. A nice Indian man who did not eat meat). Then there was the repeated theme that most people were always asking about and a popular small chat topic of conversation with distant relatives. 

The question : 

What are you doing after graduation? 

Their guesses are as good as mine.

My top career dreams are as follows:

-Own a greeting card boutique in Hillsboro Village. I would design my own line of cards while also stocking other trendy cute card lines.

-Become the next Diane Sawyer. Incredibly classy woman. I stopped watching Good Morning America when she went to the nightly news and have been a Today Show woman ever since.

-Write and Illustrate Children’s Books. I have one complete. I will get it published before I die. 

But with everyone’s questioning and others comforting advice all I figured out was the simple fact that I don’t need to figure it out. I spend so much time trying to do everything I need justtttt right, but being at home I was reminded that my life has a plan, a plan that was created long before Robyn Watkins and Jim Payne even laid eyes on each other back in the day living their own college dreams. I am blessed by incredible parents who have taught me many life lessons, which are so much easier, said than done.

One night this Christmas Break I was battling the art of a cover letter. And when I say battling, it was a war of words. Nothing sounded quite right. The balance to make it professional yet memorable was frustrating me. After my frustrations got the best of me (and my loving supportive dad) I finally had a cover letter that I felt confident in sending to the employer. Robyn made a great point as she witnessed this interaction between Jimmy and I.  She asked if I truly believed God had control. I said of course I do. She proceeded to make the point that God asks us to trust him in the plan, and me agonizing over a few wording issues would not make or break the plan.

As I begin my last first day of classes tomorrow, my plan goes out the window.

 (I also will not be wearing a duck sweater, but I doubt this means I will go all day without something wild happening to me. If you are unaware of the duck sweater story, it is well worth your time reading that past blog entry.)

 God’s plan and timing will be better than I can imagine. I don't want to live this semester focused on how my glory days will be ending, but more focused on how life after graduation will hold many new&outrageous chapters.

 My life in this moment will be filled with nothing less than an abundance of love, adventure, and success.

-SJP 

I Don't Want this Night to End

res·o·lu·tion 

noun

1.a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.

2.a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.

3.the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

4.the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

5.the act or process of resolving or separating into constituent or elementary parts.

Christmas has come and gone and now the new year is just days away! For thousands of people this means figuring out and making their New Years Resolution. Many of you will not be surprised that I rarely. aka. never partake in this tradition. After a little bit of computer nonsense I stumbled upon many articles about these resolutions that only 42% of Americans will make and only 42% of them will actually achieve/accomplish. The typical resolutions seem to be very challenging yet so simple. 

The most popular were:

Lose 20 lbs. 

Quit Smoking/Drinking.

 Get out of debt.

 Live a happier life.

hmm. so vague right?

The thing about most common New Years Resolutions is the fact that they are sooo much easier said than done. Why don’t the majority of Americans pick something fun and a little easier to accomplish like learning how to ride a unicycle or committing to drinking 8 glasses of water a day. Hah okay that may be a little too easy. I guess these are like most things in life, but to just say you will get out of debt or lose 20  pounds you need a plan or you will fail. Jimmy, my very smart dad, always says, “Failing to plan is planning to fail”. I blame this silly phrase for the reason I have over planned every ounce of my life. As I am faced with the most uncertain point in my little life and future I am starting to embrace the unknown. I am finally starting to see the next year of my life like an untold adventure. As long as I don’t lose sight of my dreams or lose the love of those around me, everything will turn out fabulous. 

Or fabulously imperfect.

“The real secret to the fabulous life is to live imperfectly with great delight.”

With this new year approaching, I will as always not have a New Years resolution. No extreme diet or exercise changes, no new skills in the works, & no vague steps to dramatically changing my life. This new year will bring me new adventures and opportunities as a college graduate, but the best part about life is that I don't have to wait until January 1st to make my dreams to come true. God has blessed me with people in my life that make every opportunity, experience and adventure magical. Just as magical as any New Years Eve. 

Happy New Year!

-SJP

Away in a Manger

 Christmas is less than a week away. I am not sure how it is possible that the days have gone by so fast. But nonetheless the week of Christmas is here. Cool Springs is packed with busy shoppers. The radio plays nonstop Christmas carols. And snowflakes fill the sky…oh wait. No just rain and highs in the 60’s. 

This time of year everyone is busy wrapping up unfinished business and the hustle and bustle of the season often makes me put the real reason of the holiday in the backseat. But today I was standing among hundreds of people waving American flags, smiling ear to ear, with not a dry eye next to me. Robyn, being a mom, and seeing this 23-year-old man coming home to his little girl was bawling.

Police escort for Andrew Wilson.

Driving into Brentwood.

A soldier coming back from war.

Just 23 years old and he has served our country.

Sacrificed his years as a young adult for the safety of our country. 

It reminded me of the huge sacrifice that God made for us. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus, who would be the ultimate gift and sacrifice.

Nativity Scene

This season the soldier’s little girl got her Christmas wish. Her daddy was home for Christmas. It put everything in perspective for me once again.

-SJP

Back to December

December is here. Final Exams are in full swing… Well more like, group final projects, papers, and only two exams. I haven’t had a test yet, and still wont for several days. That being said, I have had been able to enjoy my morning cup of coffee, the Today Show and Beth Moore’s bible study.

The Ester study I did earlier in the fall was fabulous, so I had high expectations of Mrs. Beth Moore and what she had in store in Stepping Up: A Journey through the Psalms of Ascent. 

Today it was, as always, so fitting to my life.  

My mom has always taught me to be open and honest with people. She has shown me over the years how being a woman of God will give you strength and love that could come from no one else. My mom has always been the godly woman I am striving towards. But with this open and honest policy she has engraved on my heart, it comes with the realization that when you are so open, honest and vulnerable you must be ready to receive the same honesty in return. 

This morning as I enjoyed my pumpkin spice coffee and read through Psalms I knew it would hit home with me. I must admit a major character flaw of mine:

 I can be a bit OCD and Type A at times. 

I plan, organize, analyze and then over-analyze. 

I wonder why God allows some things to happen and then refuses others. I think about the past, question the future, but where does that leave the present? Today Beth Moore’s study was simply about how in Psalms, God has a plan that we can’t see right now. He has the timing orchestrated for our own best interest. Sometimes he can play the role of a dad, withholding something a child wants because "daddy knows best" and what the child wants will be more harm than good. And other times God’s plan is to bring us back to him. Beth says, “He is the ultimate Prince Charming to every woman, especially the one who forgot she was Cinderella”. Sometimes God holds off on things so we remember how they are supposed to be and how He should always remain our focus. 

We are back to December again and Christmas is right around the corner. I am about to go home to my family unsure of how next Christmas will look, where I will be working, and living. With graduation on my mind & the past few days of a reality slap in the face I am reminded to just let things happen according to God's honest and open truth that He has my best interest in mind. What is happening right doesn’t need to be missed out on because I am over analyzing,thinking&worrying. 

-SJP

The Scientist

Thanksgiving.

My favorite holiday.

The holidays are changing with every year. The older I get, the more that reality seems to get in the way and take away some of the magic and sparkle from the holiday.

Prime Example. Taylor my older sister had to work Thanksgiving Day and the day after. She couldn’t venture with us to our Grandmother’s house to celebrate with our entire extended family.

My family minus Taylor and her husband Klay.

But some traditions are not going anywhere such as my yearly deer hunt with Jimmy. This Thanksgiving and like every Thanksgiving since I left for college, I went hunting with my dad. Those of you who know me are aware that I like to be active, but this is typically inside a gym, with air condition and water fountains. Real nature is a bit more out of my element. Jordan my 10 year old buddy I was the bright eyed nanny to this summer once told me, “Shelby, no offense, but I don’t think you are a nature girl”. He told me this as we were climbing up rocks and playing in a creek…Right after I slipped and fell taking a tree with me. Clumsy.

Jimmy, the woods and me.

Pitch Black when you walk in the woods to get to the deer stand.

4:30 am until about 9 am sitting with jimmy.

The sunrise is always beautiful and makes it all worth it.

Hunt is over. Deer Stand.

Jimmy. My fearless leader.

Yes, an extreme change of scenery from my typical day. But there is something about it that is peaceful and exhilarating. I know my dad absolutely loves that I go with him to hunt, and that’s why I do it. I want nothing more to make him happy and show him how much I love him. I have never been more thankful for my supportive, loving dad. This year especially I have seen that no matter what happens or what I do in life, my Jimmy is there to help and support me in or out of the woods. 

oh just lovin me some camo and guns.

-SJP

You Will Find Me

“Every story has an end, but in life every ending is just a new beginning”-Uptown Girls

Favorite Quote of ALL time. It’s so true. When a chapter in your life is over, your life continues with new pages hopefully full of mystery and magic. But since life is not always a fairy tale what comes next in your story may be disappointing and scary. As fall semester wraps up, I am realizing how next semester will look so different for me. I chose to fill my life during college with sorority and Panhellenic involvement. This past week all of that changed. My last Panhellenic council meeting as Chaplain, and my last Alpha Delta Pi meeting as Recruitment Vice President was this week. Next semester I will not hold a leadership position and I honestly do not know what I will do with all my spare time. 

(Hopefully devote every minute to finding a big girl job, but that’s another story).

As most people know, I am in love with ADPi’s Creed. I think it is the most beautiful thing ever written. The values and standards addressed in the Creed line up with my own. I think that is why I have really enjoyed holding leadership positions in Greek life at UT. The Christian values of ADPi represent strong women who love the Lord and strive to be Godly women. I think this is why the latest development in Panhellenic is so disappointing. Campus Administration has decided to do away with the Panhellenic Council position of Chaplain. It makes me sad that the issue of being politically correct has more weight than that of what the Panhellenic organizations were founded upon. An international officer came to an ADPi meeting this semester and talked about the history of our chapter. The way she told the story had every woman in the room captivated. The founders of ADPi were women who wanted to make a difference and hold each other to a high standard of morals.

One of the main values that brought these women together was one of the first things to go in today’s culture. As I take a break from packing to go home for Thanksgiving I am thankful for the experiences that have shaped my college years, but I am still sadden by the way times are changing and what was once considered important in Greek life is no longer. Even with the disappointment of the end of the position and my term serving as Chaplain I enjoyed every minute of the past few years, completely consumed by Greek life. But with that being said I look forward to the new beginning that is on the way.

 I may be stepping out of the leadership positions I held but the life lessons

 I learned along the way will walk with me always. 

-SJP

I Know You're Gonna Be There

Cardigans. I have been rockin the cardigan long before they were trendy or fashionable. Sweater sets were the beginning to my love of the cardigan. I lost the sweater sets and have now moved on to oversized sweaters.

Here are a few of my latest favorites:

J.Crew- Cashmere cable boyfriend cardigan

Free People- Eagle Fairisle Cardigan

Anthropologie- Echoing Argyles Cardigan    

There is something so comfortable and easy about a cardigan. I honestly

wear them like security blankets. Today is the first day that I leave my all my cozy cardigans in my little laurel bedroom, as it is cold enough this morning that I needed my winter coat. Sometimes you have to know what is best for you and leave things behind to brave the world for what comes next.  And yet sometimes when you least expect it, you find yourself right back to what you know, what is comfortable, and what you have loved all along.

-SJP