Love is Magic

So tomorrow is officially Halloween. Costumes & candy. 

A little fact about me: growing up I did not go trick or treating. Okay, well maybe we went once when I was two years old and I was a ballerina.  But for the rest of my childhood we went to Fall festivals at church or did some other classic Payne family adventure. I did not feel like I was missing out at all, I didn’t really even understand what everyone else was doing. But as I got older we would hand out candy on our front porch to all the cute little kids dressed up in clever and wild costumes. Robyn and I would always pick our favorite costumes. So now as a 21 year old girl in college I am just entertained by the costumes worn by girls, or most of the time lack there of…But this year I happen to end up in Franklin and missed most of the scandalous costumes. What a shame.

Naturally there was a festival in my little adorable Downtown Franklin on Saturday: Pumpkinfest. Taylor, Klay, and I walked the streets of the precious town that were filled with music, Irish dancers, and costumes on children as well as adults. I have decided and if someone can prove me wrong please enlighten me, but in my mind there is NOT a costume in the world that an adult can pull off without looking ridiculous. But that is not the point. Something about Downtown Franklin took what is not particularly my favorite holiday and made it magical. The streets were filled with families wearing matching costumes and enjoying the beautiful Fall day.

But now that Halloween is here, the countdown begins to my FAVORITE holiday.

 THANKSGIVING. 

Family, Cooking, and my yearly deer hunt with Jimmy.

-SJP

Turning Tables

I have yet to face a problem that

Coffee

P90x Yoga

& Jesus

 

couldn't take care of. 

-SJP

Magnolia Tree

It’s Saturday night in Knoxville. My friends are out dancing the night away at a Lambda Chi Band party. I typically would be there in a heartbeat, but tonight I turned in my cowboy boots for slippers. Cozy in my little Laurel bedroom, Drew Holcomb’s sweet lyrics fill the air, and I sit staring at my laptop screen. I didn’t think this would be so daunting. I have been brainstorming this “personal narrative” for weeks. Tonight I was/ am determined to conquer the challenge of writing a short (aka. No more than two pages double-spaced) essay about why I want this position and how I am perfect candidate for my dream job.

But as you can see, I am instead writing about how challenging it is to write this essay. The challenge is not figuring out why I think this job is a perfect fit for my personality and how this would change my entire future for the best, but rather how to express something so important and complex in such a limited amount of words. I am NOT a woman of few words. Hah, quite the opposite actually, and sometimes this gets me in trouble or is just obnoxious. The pressure to get this right is weighing on my heart. I pray God gives me the words to show not only how much I have been dreaming about this job, but how I am qualified, competent and confident I would excel at this position.

Dreams are funny things. As a little girl I have had this image in my head of myself as an adult woman. I imagined myself as a caring, compassionate, and comforting woman working as a nurse within the neonatal intensive care unit. My little world was rocked near the end of freshman year when I realized that this was not for me. I had dreamed of this since I was such a little girl playing with Cabbage Patch and Lee Middleton dolls. After this decision to switch my major (several times) I have wondered what do I want to be doing, what am I going to succeed doing, and ultimately what can I do to make a difference in the world. Now as graduation is approaching, I think I have found my dream job. It is not where I thought I would end up, but I think it is right where I belong. But now, the future of my dream job is going to come down to an essay.

As I sit here staring at a blank word document I realize I have been sitting here through A Million Miles Away, Passenger Seat, and now Chasing Someday. So basically hours. I may not know what direction I want to take in my essay, but I know the direction of my dreams and I am going to keep dreaming until I have everything I ever dreamed of (and hopefully more). Now back to my essay. 

-SJP

One is One Too Many, One More is Never Enough

My favorite season is here. Finally. Fall.

Low Humidity & Crisp Air leads to great hair.

Boots, Scarves, and Cardigans are staples in my wardrobe.

Pumpkin Spice Lattes…well usually that would be a daily part of this time of year, but I have a promise with myself I shall NOT order one this Fall. “One is one too many, one more is never enough. It’s always your favorite sins that do you in.” Yes, I just applied Kenny’s song about a forbidden lover to a Starbucks drink, but I am sure if you have had this beverage you know you can’t resist them once your taste buds remember how yummy they are. But this year I have sworn them off. 

Sorry about the tangent, but back to Fall. 

My FAVORITE thing about fall is pumpkin carving.

My charming little family started a pumpkin carving tradition my freshman year of college over Fall Break. The first time I hung out with Klay Kelley, my sister’s current husband but at the time he was just a very new boyfriend we decided to carve pumpkins. He was exposed to my family’s quirky ways. Mainly mine. 

That year I carved Dick Cheney’s face.

Fall of Sophomore Year I carved a deer hunting scene, which is most definitely my most impressive one.

Fall of Junior Year I carved a kitty cat.

And this fall I carved a lion.

Pumpkin carving, like most things in life begins with a plan. A sketch, an idea, a dream. As you start cutting, you keep chugging along until you realize oops. I should not have cut there; I stepped out of the boundaries that were planned, into a “danger zone”. Some of these mistakes just lead to little modifications to the plan; the dream is still in sight. But other cuts, mess more up than is repairable. The plan and ultimate goal changes entirely. You cannot make the cut look like a hair bow anymore, it must be cut out entirely to create something different.

I often wonder how often I step out of the lines of God’s plan in my life. When I don’t trust Him fully, to let people come in or out of my life, or to hold on and try harder to succeed, I mess up my design that He planned. The plan of our Maker is for the best. It is so comforting that when I epically fail or step in the wrong direction, He is there to create something beautiful out of my mistakes. 

This Fall I really want to see pumpkins as a reminder to surrender to Him. I want to let go of control and allow Him to carve me into the best possible me.

“Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing who holds the future”. 

-SJP

Like My Mother Does

So the past few days I have been extremely homesick. And today it is even worse because it is Robyn Payne's Birthday! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, today is the day of birth for the fabulous, incredible Robyn. My mom is the best. I almost feel sorry for everyone, except my lovely sister of course because we happen to have THE most amazing mother. 

Growing up as the daughter of Robyn Payne I was taught a sense of confidence.
Taking pride in my unique qualities.

Example A. I slap my knee when I laugh. That is how you know if I am fake chuckling or not. If the knee isn't slapped and the head doesn't fly back- it's fake. 

Example B. When I was a little girl my mom allowed me to be who I wanted to be, and dress how I wanted to dress. I was an interesting little girl. My favorite outfit, which my mom let me wear out in public was this (please ignore the disaster of a haircut):

#toomuch

Example C. My freshman year of highschool, Robyn did not question me or make me doubt my decision to bring my dog to my tennis team matches. I brought my baby Avery to multiple games. Games I PLAYED in. Looking back on that, I have no clue what I was thinking ( I can now probably guess what other people were thinking). My obsession with documenting every aspect of my life began many years ago. So if you were hoping for a visual, you got it!

Baby Avery came to many tennis matches. Chelsea, my tennis partner loved her.

My mom let me be who I wanted to be. Try different sports and music instruments, encouraged my love of politics and even approved my tattoo. Her own free spirit showed me the freedom to my own.

My moms coffee addiction, fitness obsession and scrap booking are just a few of the things that have become apart of my own life. But the most important things my my mom gave me were the lessons on genuine relationships with people. She taught me were to be completely open and honest about who we are and what we want in life. Live without regrets. Don't just let life happen, make it happen. And most importantly never to let fear hold me back.

Mom and I after moving me into my dorm freshman year.

My mom attracts people. People love her. She walks into a room and people are intrigued by her. She is one of those magnetic people. I know she is flowing all through this blog, but it's simply because everyday I am reminded of her and she reminds me of the woman I want to become. She is my hero. And today as I celebrate her and her birthday, I am so blessed for having such a fun and strong woman raise me. I want to grow up and be just like her. Love you momma bear :)

I want to live my life "Like My Mother Does".

Summer 2011.

-SJP

"Friday Night Sweet Ride"

Last Friday night, one of the most legendary events in Alpha Delta Pi occurred. Yes, that's right it was Barn Party time in Tennessee! Barn Party is a date party to remember. We pile in buses, drive to an unknown location, and dance the night away in a barn filled with magical lights and country music!

This year proved to be no different. It was a great night & I can't believe it was the last one! I decided it would be a fun trip down memory lane to look back on all the BP's. 

Zac Inklebarger was my first Barn Party Date. We look like
 babies haha oh my so much has changed!

Julianne Poe and I at the barn Freshman Year.

Sophomore Year!

Cody Bryan was my date Sophomore Year!

Junior Year I managed to somehow NOT get a picture of me and my date...so obviously Brooke would be a good replacement. #typ

Junior Year.

And Senior Year. Zac Inklebarger is a fabulous date party date
 & he got the pleasure of 2 Barn Parties over the years!  

We are now seniors & have come a long way! Love yall! 

"What Happens in the Barn, Stays in the Barn"

-SJP

Hey Miss America

My latest obsessions: 

M.A.C. Sheen Supreme-Ultra Darling

Toasted Almond Flavored Dunkin Donuts Coffee.
Like mother like Daughter, A pot of coffee a day keeps the doctor away? Hope so. 

J.Crew Flared Perfect Coat-Dusty Clay

Essie- Sand Tropez

Anthropologie- Marmara Pullover

-SJP