My Kind of Crazy

A year ago I was driving my best friends and I to Alpha Delta Pi’s District Leadership Conference. This weekend the day had arrived to venture East once again. But the purpose of this trip was one that my dreams led me on.

My Alpha Delta Pi Pin.

A once in a lifetime opportunity to travel the country for a year. Finally. February 4^th. I could not be more excited to meet the women who I had been speaking with on the phone since December. Two months has gone by since the very first phone call. The time has come to pack up Jack with my matching Vera Bradley, a playlist of my latest favorite music, and my GPS to get me to my destination: Asheville, NC. I had ZERO issues on the way there which for me seemed entirely too good to be true. The afternoon went great. I was able to get ready while chatting with some of my favorite chapter members who also calmed my nerves. The big event flew by and two hours later, the journey home would begin. Hah, if I would have known how it would become quite the adventure I may have stayed the night to slumber party with the girls at the hotel. 

Hey North Carolina.

The beautiful state of North Carolina had just experienced a rockslide. My friend gave me a heads up about this and I thought it would be just an added delay but not a huge ordeal. BUT what is a day in Shelby Payne’s life if there is not something wild and weirdo happening?! 45 minutes down the road to Knoxville, the interstate just stopped. It was blocked off. Pitch black. Pouring rain. And there I was with not a clue what to do. My GPS was no help because the little British accent was just telling me to find a safe place to turn around. So in my panicked state, my first reaction was to follow the car in front of me. I mean, surely they were experienced, well informed drivers and everything would be fine. I was simply hoping I would magically reappear on 40W. Well after about 10 minutes of following this person I was terrified. We were on roads that were not paved, up in the mountains, with no street signs in sight. Having seen one too many Law & Order SVU episodes, I could just imagine these people I was following were leading me deeper and deeper into seclusion to abduct me. They waved at me in the dark to pull up next to their car, I was so desperate to find my way out of the mountains that I slowly approached their car. I have never been happier to see the smiling faces of an older couple that knew I was in need of some guidance. They did their best to guide me back to where the interstate stopped. Almost in tears all I knew to do was phone a friend from the great state of NC for help navigating me to safety and to calm my nerves. Well hours later I was back in Asheville, found the detour and was on my way to Knoxville.

Detours are funny things in life. When you have to take a different path than planned, it is incredibly disappointing and scary. When you can’t get to where you want to be right away, or when you make a mistake that now the best option is plan b, through a completely different place than you wanted to go through it's confusing. But detours are just different ways to get where you want to go. You still end up where you wanted to be, but going straight there was not right or at least at that time. The time that passed while on the detour was preparing the end result exactly how it should be. While preparing the driver to see the end destination in a new way. Timing in life changes everything. Something so perfect at the wrong time isn’t perfect at all.

 Patience to trust the detour is patience to trust that things work out exactly how and when they should. Exactly how the Creator of the detour planned it to get you back where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you are supposed to arrive there.

-SJP

Tiny Light

I think everyone has a dream that is in no way possible for so many reasons. Impossible barriers that would keep you from being able to live out that dream. Well my barriers are simply I can not sing and my musical instrument skills are limited. But by no means has that stopped me from trying.

When I was just a young little blonde thing I loved to put on a show. Give me a bathing suit and cowboy boots and I was unstoppable. My love of music started early and I eventually took on the challenge of learning to play the violin. I am a decent violinist. I love playing. This love of music even led to a few electric bass moments. I dreamed of being a rockstar. An incredibly talented, wild woman who showed the world her skills and passion for music(while looking incredibly trendy and chic).

Karen O

My favorite band in high school was the YeahYeahYeahs. I always gravitated to bands with a strong woman volcalist. And Karen O was no exception. In 2003 the song Maps was released and even though its been almost a decade her voice is still in my head. Its been a longgg time since I have heard a woman share this intense rock, edgy sound. In my opinion no woman has been able to share these qualities in recent years, until now.

The other night a friend insisted on showing me video after video of his favorite music. I say insisted, but that doesn’t mean I was not completely eager to hear music that I had yet to stumble upon. One video stuck out amongst the others because she shared that intense wild voice and wild indie vibes of Karen O.

Grace Potter.

My latest obsession.

She is insanely talented and I am shocked I have not heard her before (except for her little duo with Kenny Chesney. But You&Tequila does not do her justice.But it’s niccce).

Grace Potter.

My Favs:

Tiny Light

Paris

That Phone

Things I Never Needed

Even though not all my childhood dreams are feasible or even what I want anymore, I am glad I can listen to amazing artists like Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

Listening and dancing all the way to my dreams! 

-SJP

Let it Rain

My world in college has been busy and full of meetings, play dates, and fun times with friends. 

Oh yes, and studying and trying to get a degree. Couldn’t forget that one could I?!

 But the start of a new semester is always interesting. There usually are a few weeks of getting into the “new” normal of what life will look like. But this semester I am no longer holding any leadership positions and I am seriously not sure what to do with my time. My life is pretty ordinary on days even on days when the weirdest things happen to me. But sometimes it seems too predictable. Don’t get me wrong, but on days like today when all I want is an outrageous adventure and the bright sun beating on my skin, the reality of pouring rain and a day of gym,classes, and laundry just doesn’t quite do it for me.

They say when it rains, it pours. Living in Knoxville, TN. It never just rains. It only pours. Today was no exception and it poured all day. Since yesterday was a holiday Alpha Delta Pi’s Monday night meeting was moved to tonight. With the rain causing a blah mood for me and the only thing I wanted to do was cuddle up with a book (lame. I know. I am a nerdy girl at heart). I did not want to get dressed up.made up. just to show up at Panhellenic for meeting. But at the last minute I raced to get ready in my pin attire and made it just in time. I am SO glad I did.

Not only would missing meeting make me look a little bit lazy when I was not there to transition in front of our entire chapter to formally hand over my title as Recruitment Vice President to the lovely new RVP, but I would have missed the new chaplain give her first address to the chapter. She read from a book called, “His Princess” by Sheri Rose Shepherd.

“My Princess, it is never too late to turn to Me, My love. I didn’t start a countdown when I gave you the choice between life and death. There is no time limit on My love for you. I am patient, yet I don’t want you to miss out on any precious time with Me. There is no place you have to go to find Me. Just cry out to Me, and I will come to you. Wherever you’ve gone My grace has followed you. Whatever you’ve done My blood has covered you. Come to me today and I will do more than repair the damage…I will restore what was lost. Someday you will look back on this moment as the turning point that transformed you into the princess I called you to be. Now come to Me, and let’s fall in love all over again.

 –You King who knows no limits”

dancing in the rain.

The transition of new ADPi officers and a new year brought a beautiful reminder that God is there to be my comforter, calling me back to Him always even in the ordinary days when life is just, well life.

-SJP

Little Red Rodeo

Tomorrow is my last first day of classes. The past month I spent at home in Franklin, TN was just the break I needed with my family to come back for the grand finale. Full of typical Payne Family fun of course. Parades, festivals, board games, family dinners (including one with a coworker of Robyn’s. A nice Indian man who did not eat meat). Then there was the repeated theme that most people were always asking about and a popular small chat topic of conversation with distant relatives. 

The question : 

What are you doing after graduation? 

Their guesses are as good as mine.

My top career dreams are as follows:

-Own a greeting card boutique in Hillsboro Village. I would design my own line of cards while also stocking other trendy cute card lines.

-Become the next Diane Sawyer. Incredibly classy woman. I stopped watching Good Morning America when she went to the nightly news and have been a Today Show woman ever since.

-Write and Illustrate Children’s Books. I have one complete. I will get it published before I die. 

But with everyone’s questioning and others comforting advice all I figured out was the simple fact that I don’t need to figure it out. I spend so much time trying to do everything I need justtttt right, but being at home I was reminded that my life has a plan, a plan that was created long before Robyn Watkins and Jim Payne even laid eyes on each other back in the day living their own college dreams. I am blessed by incredible parents who have taught me many life lessons, which are so much easier, said than done.

One night this Christmas Break I was battling the art of a cover letter. And when I say battling, it was a war of words. Nothing sounded quite right. The balance to make it professional yet memorable was frustrating me. After my frustrations got the best of me (and my loving supportive dad) I finally had a cover letter that I felt confident in sending to the employer. Robyn made a great point as she witnessed this interaction between Jimmy and I.  She asked if I truly believed God had control. I said of course I do. She proceeded to make the point that God asks us to trust him in the plan, and me agonizing over a few wording issues would not make or break the plan.

As I begin my last first day of classes tomorrow, my plan goes out the window.

 (I also will not be wearing a duck sweater, but I doubt this means I will go all day without something wild happening to me. If you are unaware of the duck sweater story, it is well worth your time reading that past blog entry.)

 God’s plan and timing will be better than I can imagine. I don't want to live this semester focused on how my glory days will be ending, but more focused on how life after graduation will hold many new&outrageous chapters.

 My life in this moment will be filled with nothing less than an abundance of love, adventure, and success.

-SJP 

I Don't Want this Night to End

res·o·lu·tion 

noun

1.a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.

2.a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.

3.the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

4.the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

5.the act or process of resolving or separating into constituent or elementary parts.

Christmas has come and gone and now the new year is just days away! For thousands of people this means figuring out and making their New Years Resolution. Many of you will not be surprised that I rarely. aka. never partake in this tradition. After a little bit of computer nonsense I stumbled upon many articles about these resolutions that only 42% of Americans will make and only 42% of them will actually achieve/accomplish. The typical resolutions seem to be very challenging yet so simple. 

The most popular were:

Lose 20 lbs. 

Quit Smoking/Drinking.

 Get out of debt.

 Live a happier life.

hmm. so vague right?

The thing about most common New Years Resolutions is the fact that they are sooo much easier said than done. Why don’t the majority of Americans pick something fun and a little easier to accomplish like learning how to ride a unicycle or committing to drinking 8 glasses of water a day. Hah okay that may be a little too easy. I guess these are like most things in life, but to just say you will get out of debt or lose 20  pounds you need a plan or you will fail. Jimmy, my very smart dad, always says, “Failing to plan is planning to fail”. I blame this silly phrase for the reason I have over planned every ounce of my life. As I am faced with the most uncertain point in my little life and future I am starting to embrace the unknown. I am finally starting to see the next year of my life like an untold adventure. As long as I don’t lose sight of my dreams or lose the love of those around me, everything will turn out fabulous. 

Or fabulously imperfect.

“The real secret to the fabulous life is to live imperfectly with great delight.”

With this new year approaching, I will as always not have a New Years resolution. No extreme diet or exercise changes, no new skills in the works, & no vague steps to dramatically changing my life. This new year will bring me new adventures and opportunities as a college graduate, but the best part about life is that I don't have to wait until January 1st to make my dreams to come true. God has blessed me with people in my life that make every opportunity, experience and adventure magical. Just as magical as any New Years Eve. 

Happy New Year!

-SJP

Away in a Manger

 Christmas is less than a week away. I am not sure how it is possible that the days have gone by so fast. But nonetheless the week of Christmas is here. Cool Springs is packed with busy shoppers. The radio plays nonstop Christmas carols. And snowflakes fill the sky…oh wait. No just rain and highs in the 60’s. 

This time of year everyone is busy wrapping up unfinished business and the hustle and bustle of the season often makes me put the real reason of the holiday in the backseat. But today I was standing among hundreds of people waving American flags, smiling ear to ear, with not a dry eye next to me. Robyn, being a mom, and seeing this 23-year-old man coming home to his little girl was bawling.

Police escort for Andrew Wilson.

Driving into Brentwood.

A soldier coming back from war.

Just 23 years old and he has served our country.

Sacrificed his years as a young adult for the safety of our country. 

It reminded me of the huge sacrifice that God made for us. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus, who would be the ultimate gift and sacrifice.

Nativity Scene

This season the soldier’s little girl got her Christmas wish. Her daddy was home for Christmas. It put everything in perspective for me once again.

-SJP

Back to December

December is here. Final Exams are in full swing… Well more like, group final projects, papers, and only two exams. I haven’t had a test yet, and still wont for several days. That being said, I have had been able to enjoy my morning cup of coffee, the Today Show and Beth Moore’s bible study.

The Ester study I did earlier in the fall was fabulous, so I had high expectations of Mrs. Beth Moore and what she had in store in Stepping Up: A Journey through the Psalms of Ascent. 

Today it was, as always, so fitting to my life.  

My mom has always taught me to be open and honest with people. She has shown me over the years how being a woman of God will give you strength and love that could come from no one else. My mom has always been the godly woman I am striving towards. But with this open and honest policy she has engraved on my heart, it comes with the realization that when you are so open, honest and vulnerable you must be ready to receive the same honesty in return. 

This morning as I enjoyed my pumpkin spice coffee and read through Psalms I knew it would hit home with me. I must admit a major character flaw of mine:

 I can be a bit OCD and Type A at times. 

I plan, organize, analyze and then over-analyze. 

I wonder why God allows some things to happen and then refuses others. I think about the past, question the future, but where does that leave the present? Today Beth Moore’s study was simply about how in Psalms, God has a plan that we can’t see right now. He has the timing orchestrated for our own best interest. Sometimes he can play the role of a dad, withholding something a child wants because "daddy knows best" and what the child wants will be more harm than good. And other times God’s plan is to bring us back to him. Beth says, “He is the ultimate Prince Charming to every woman, especially the one who forgot she was Cinderella”. Sometimes God holds off on things so we remember how they are supposed to be and how He should always remain our focus. 

We are back to December again and Christmas is right around the corner. I am about to go home to my family unsure of how next Christmas will look, where I will be working, and living. With graduation on my mind & the past few days of a reality slap in the face I am reminded to just let things happen according to God's honest and open truth that He has my best interest in mind. What is happening right doesn’t need to be missed out on because I am over analyzing,thinking&worrying. 

-SJP