Something to Lose

There are things about my childhood that I remember perfectly. The memory is vivid and the beating of my heart just thinking about that afternoon takes me back. Little girls lined up on the sidelines and with a simple raise of my arm, I signaled it was time. Seconds later I would run full speed towards a the vault. As a little girl I had competed in gymnastics and this run was one of many. Nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn't my favorite event but I was good at it. Running as fast as I could down the runway just to land arms first on the vault and twisting to throw my body over for the dismount. Landing with both feet on the mat and hands flying straight in the air. Nothing about gymnastics scared me. I was fearless. The beam, bars, floor exercises and the vault. None of it was scary. That is until the day that changed my whole outlook on the sport. Running up to the vault, losing my focus and watching in slow motion as my hands missed the vault. I felt like I had launched my body in the air for miles. Landing hard and more than anything terrified of what had happened and why my hands slid off of the vault. I had never missed the vault before, not even in practice, but during a meet with all eyes on me, and the gasps from the crowd just made my head spin.

After that day, nothing was the same. Its funny how moments of fear or uncertainty change things. As I got older this became a long forgotten memory because life is full of scary moments, moments when you aren't sure why or how. But at the time it made me timid. The little girl who was nicknamed 'birdgirl" by her mom from doing gymnastics in the house and leaping from furniture. The little girl whose dad made her a balance beam so she could practice at home. The little girl who lived in leotards, bikinis and boots would slowly turn it all in. I hated that after that meet I was scared. Scared to move on to the next level because of what skill set came with it. Just like driving a car, if you hesitate you will cause a wreck. Doing gymnastics half way, will get you hurt. I eventually stopped competing. I don't think I fully admitted out loud it was because of fear. There are plenty of valid reasons why a young girl stops competing. Moments in life impact us. Risks we don't take are just as scary as the ones we do. Maybe more so.

Who knows why I thought about my days as a gymnast today, but the reminder of how I felt then reminds me of choices I am making now. The fear of change should be washed away by the fear of everything staying exactly the same.

-SJP

Sleeping To Dream

Monday night I drove home from Jackson, TN where my entire family plus all of our extended family sat around drinking coffee, opening presents, and munching on fudge. I drove home because I unfortunately had to work the day after Christmas. For the first time in 22 years of life, I had to be somewhere the day after Christmas. Old habits die-hard and I am still waiting for the glorious Christmas Break that must be coming. The month long break of all reality that consists of baking, lying around in my matching Victoria's Secret pajamas (that includes the matching slippers) and watching all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls. 

The cherry on top of this new working adult life hit me yesterday morning, as I so gracefully hit and ran over my trash can at the end of my drive way. As my neighbors watched, whom I just had said hello to as they took their own trash cans to the edge of their driveway. Nothing says, "Have a great Thursday Shelbs" like trash all in the cul-de-sac. As I ran over my trashcan I couldn't help but be thankful it was the only thing I hit in the past week, as I was a world traveler from Winston-Salem, NC all the way to Jackson, TN. Even without a Christmas Break, I had a great Christmas spent with family & people I love. 

The holidays continue this weekend & I am excited to see old friends, new friends, and my boyfriend to help bring in the New Year. And with the New Year my boss told me on Friday that I would be getting a raise. So there’s that. Maybe this adult life isn’t so bad after all.

-SJP        

Everything's Changed at Christmas

The office has been overflowing with Christie's Cookies, Goo Goo Cluster baskets & an assortment of holiday treats from customers. Life is flying by right now and with Christmas less than a week away, I feel like I may finally be settled in my post grad world. It's different, a big change, but change is not always bad. Sometimes change is hard. Real tough. But sometimes it's just what you need.

The past few weeks have been filled with the ups and downs of life of course but this week is filled with Christmas cheer! Wacky Tacky party in downtown. Matt Wertz concert tonight. Christmas dinner with my favorite ADPi alums. My best friend and I back in action. And to top it all off, I get a weekend in North Carolina with my man.

I am finally getting used to the full time work with the fun mixed in here and there. A big change from college where it's mostly fun with a few serious things mixed in (at least that's how I did college, and I don't regret that one bit). Life has changed in a lot of ways, but instead of living in the past of yester-years memories of what once was, I have now cleaned out my closet to be able to fill it with new adventures in this new stage of life.

-SJP

True Believers

The past four years of my life were spontaneous, yet very routine. This time of year after Thanksgiving in Franklin I would be getting my laundry finished, packing up Jack, going back to school for the last week of classes & final exams before the glorious month long Christmas Break began. But now I am living and breathing office life. And if you know me at all, you will know I have a very unique situation going in the office. But this new working world doesn’t have the extra perks of college such as: Christmas Break, Spring Break, summer vacation or Fall Break. I personally feel that employees could be more productive with these nice breaks but anyways back to reality. 

 This Thanksgiving I still came home for the entire weekend, even though my apartment is only 35 minutes away from my parent’s house, just to make this Thanksgiving feel like the 4 years prior. It really did feel like I was still in college, lounging in big date party t-shirts, leggings & Uggs, that is until all the extended family celebrations. Everyone was asking me how my job was going and what I would like for Christmas. I had to hold back from giving too honest of replies such as: a gift card to Kroger, a gas card, a year of cable or hey, how about I just send you my electric bill next month. Things I took for granted are now are my radar. 

 In the past three months my life has changed in a lot of ways, but not all the changes are less than perfect. In fact the things that matter most to me are falling perfectly together. The three musketeers are back together in full force, taking advantage of every minute we can be together & The start of a new relationship that has been full of adventures, travels and learning how to navigate the distance life has set out before us. 

 Even with what seems like a trying transition, this Thanksgiving I am most thankful for the way life brings people and opportunities to you when you least expect it. You don’t even know how things started, but you know you never want it any other way.

-SJP

The Lion the Beast the Beat

My life these days can be described as one word: transition. Change would not be a fitting word because most of my daily life feels so familiar. I still watch the news every morning as I sip coffee, I still workout everyday, and I still chat with Robyn about my daily dramas. This stage of life is also completely unfamiliar as I try to remember how to put myself out there and make new friends in a familiar city. The past few weeks I have gotten settled in at work and finally settled in to my new little home.

Today I got Internet connected. It was quite an afternoon spent with the cable man. He was right on time and called to give me a 20 minute heads up to make sure I was home and “straighten up, just in case I needed to”. So obviously after this initial call I was intrigued to see who would show up at my home. I have seen one too many Law&Order SVU episodes in my day, so naturally I was scared he would be a scary creepy man. But no, turns out he was just a young guy who had been born in raised in the country. He had a strong accent and was extremely helpful. He didn’t charge me for anything. And I mean, he should have. He crawled under my home, made a new connection to the broken phone jack, gave me a new modem after I fried mine in the first two minutes. He informed me that he usually has to charge $150.00 for the new phone jack, but since “that sucks its so much money and I see you don’t have cable. I don’t either, I don’t get paid enough to do this job and cant afford a luxury like cable”, so he decided not to charge me. He also made sure to tell me when I fill out the customer satisfaction survey to please make sure and put that I was “extremely satisfied, not just satisfied because that is what makes me get a pay raise. And like I said, I need one”. About an hour later he was gone, I have Internet and still have money for gas&groceries. People who are just nice and helpful are a blessing. I enjoyed his genuine approach to his work and his honesty. And this is just one way God has been giving me blessings in the past few days, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Tonight I went to an event at Cross Point church, where I was greeted with young women and men who are looking for the same things as I am. Fellowship with believers who are dealing with the same struggles and challenges of being a young professional in Nashville. I have prayed that this was the right job for me, in the right city, and I am trusting God will place the right people in my life who I can walk through day to day with. I am grateful for the confirmation I feel from Him tonight, and the peaceful sleep I will get to help me get through another week of life in the work force. 

-SJP

Parachute Heart

For those of you who may have assumed no further postings about the grey&yellow leopard print couch meant that thing did not go well, you are mistaken! It is finished. And still in working condition. The pull out couch still pulls out and folds back in. Robyn is incredible, and has been told by our local upholstery store that if she ever needs a job she has one with them. 

In case you forgot here is the before:

Completely taken apart and blue. ew.

After:

Gray& Yellow Leopard.

My grey&yellow couch is ready, and I am ready to for August 1st to hurry up and get here so I can move into my new apartment in Nashville. 

-SJP

I Like To Be Me When I'm With You

I am officially living for the weekend these days since I have become a working woman. But this past weekend I was living for Sunday night. Folks, dreams came true last night. 

Concert on the Lawn.

I finally saw Drew&Ellie Holcomb sing live. I happen to live in a little neighborhood that has little concerts and events on the weekends, and when I read the email that Ellie Holcomb was coming with a special guest I was thrilled. She brought her whole family and they sang a variety of songs. Only one of their originals, but I was no less loving the night.

Mom and I

I have tried to go to a Drew Holcomb&the Neighbors concert several times and it just hasn't worked out. I may or may not have gotten desperate enough to ask as friend to fly me in his private airplane so I could make a show and be back in time for classes. Apparently that is a little tooo much to ask haha typical me right? I think seeing her and Drew sing together made me want to go to a real concert even more. 

Drew&Ellie

It was magical. And that's all I have to say about that. 

-SJP